Afraid to write what you feel?

I have grown a lot over the last year and have pretty much doubled my volume of books.  I have 58 finished novels, 17 unfinished, 5 finished cowrites, 1 unfinished cowrite and I am currently working on a new serial and a new cowrite.  I am editing another novel to be published in September.  I am excited about the new book to be published.  More on that later.  Right now, I would like to answer a few questions I hear.

  1.  So what do I write?  Everything!  I like romantic suspense/dramas.
  2. How can you write so fast?  I am a stay at home wife.  I literally write all day long.
  3. How do you find different things to write about when you have written so much already?  I google ideas, get information from television and other books.
  4. Do you have a sounding board?  Yes, my husband Frank and my writing buddy Nikki.  They have been big inspirations in my writing career.
  5. Do you plan to publish more novels?  Yes.  Working on one now and will have several others ready in the next few months.
  6. Why do you write?  I write to express my feelings, release anger or anxieties, heal from pain, experience things I can’t in real life.  Writing is my way of getting through life.
  7. Do you write about controversial things?  Yes.  I write about whatever my characters tell me to write.  I don’t always believe in everything I write. I write it anyway.

I would like to talk about the #7.  Controversial writing.  As I have stated before, I was raised in a Christian home and I raised my boys that way as well.  I began in a strict Pentecostal religion.  I never just believed what I was told in church.  I looked it up in the bible to confirm my beliefs.  Some were correct and did not totally fit what I was taught.  Others were spot on what I was taught.  Did I believe them?  I believed what the bible said would happen if I crossed the line of sin.  Did it stop me from expressing my feelings?  No.  That is what I do in my writing.  I express my feelings on certain subjects.

       8.  What kind of controversial things do you write about?

This is when things become real for me.  Let me first define CONTROVERSIAL.  Controversial, to me, is what society, mostly Christian beliefs, define as wrong in their eyes.

I have written about abortion, teen pregnancies, sibling love, rape, abuse, sexual orgies, fantasy or magical powers, religions other than Christianity, erotica, prostitution, drugs and lots of sex.

Why?  Because these are things that weigh on my mind every day.  They are things that I have either experienced for myself, or I WISHED would happen to me.  I still consider myself a Christian and I live by the bible.  But that does not stop me from writing about an attraction to the opposite sex I had or wondering what it would feel like to be a witch.  When I first started writing I told myself that I would not publish works with these controversial subjects in them because of what my friends would think.  I am almost 50 years old and, frankly, I don’t give a damn what they think anymore.  I live on this earth to please my husband and my God.  No one else matters.  This is who I am and I am no longer afraid of what they think.

What will happen if I publish these things?  They will either love my honesty or they will delete me on Facebook.  Is that a bad thing?  No.  I have several friends who are NOT on Facebook.  It isn’t like we see each other in person or they text me on a regular basis.  We do not have lunch or go shopping.  They are just friends or acquaintances, mostly from Social Media.

My advice to you as a fellow writer;  write what you want.  If not for anyone else, but for yourself.  Write it down.  Over and over again.  THEN you can decide if and when you publish your controversial topic.  Who cares that you like writing about threesomes or that you write about abortion or drugs in a different way than what others believe.

I spent most of my life hiding from the real me because I didn’t want my Christian friends to disown me.  Well, if they were true friends, they would not judge me and would silently pray for my ‘seeing the light’.  The only ones who matter to me are my husband Frank, my sons Scott and Phil, my God, and a select handful of true friends.  So I leave you with this… TO HELL WHAT OTHERS THINK!  WRITE!